The Forgiveness Journey—Preparing to Let Go, Heal, and Grow!

Introduction: Are You Ready for the Next Step?

For the past few weeks, we’ve walked through the challenges of forgiveness—how to release pain, heal from past wounds, and move forward. But now, it’s time for action.

As we prepare for The Forgiveness Journey: Let Go, Heal, and Grow! Virtual Workshop on March 28, 2025, I want you to reflect:

Where are you in your forgiveness journey?

• Are you still holding onto past hurts?

• Do you feel like you’ve forgiven, but the pain resurfaces?

• Are you ready to finally walk in the freedom God has for you?

This week, let’s get intentional about preparing our hearts for healing.

1. Forgiveness Is a Daily Decision

📖 Luke 6:37 (KJV) – "Forgive, and ye shall be forgiven."

Many of us think of forgiveness as a one-time event, but it’s not. It’s a daily decision to let go.

Think of it like weeding a garden:

✔️ Some weeds are easily pulled up.

✔️ Others have deep roots and take time to remove.

✔️ If you don’t maintain the soil, new weeds (bitterness) will grow.

What unforgiveness still lingers in your heart? This week, ask God to reveal areas where you still need to forgive.

2. Identify Your Roadblocks to Healing

📖 Hebrews 12:15 (KJV) – "Lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."

What’s stopping you from fully forgiving?

Is it:

• Waiting for an apology that never came?

• Fear of getting hurt again?

• Feeling like they don’t deserve it?

These are common struggles. But the truth is, holding onto unforgiveness only keeps YOU trapped.

This week, write down:

✔️ Who you need to forgive.

✔️ What emotions still come up when you think of them.

✔️ One step you can take toward release.

3. Trust God to Handle Justice

📖 Romans 12:19 (KJV) – "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."

One of the hardest parts of forgiveness is letting go of the need for justice. We want closure. We want them to understand how much they hurt us.

But God is the ultimate judge. When we surrender our pain to Him, we release the weight of trying to control the outcome.

Pray this week:"Lord, I release my desire for justice to You. I trust You to heal my heart and handle the rest."

4. Get Ready for a Transformational Experience!

📖 Isaiah 43:18-19 (KJV) – "Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing."

On March 28, 2025, we’re gathering for The Forgiveness Journey: Let Go, Heal, and Grow! Virtual Workshop.

This interactive experience will help you:

✅ Identify the hidden areas of unforgiveness in your life.

✅ Learn how to fully release past pain.

✅ Develop a personal plan for healing and moving forward.

✅ Receive spiritual guidance and encouragement to keep going.

Are you ready to finally walk in the freedom that God has for you?

The Road to Release: Your Next Steps

Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting—it’s about trusting God with what you can’t handle.

Take these next steps to prepare for the workshop:

💡 Reflection:

✔️ What do I still need to release?

✔️ Have I fully surrendered my pain to God?

✔️ Am I ready to commit to healing?

✅ Step 1: Register for the Virtual Workshop! Sign Up Here

✅ Step 2: Begin journaling your thoughts on forgiveness this week.

✅ Step 3: Ask God to prepare your heart for transformation.

Forgiveness is a journey—let’s walk it together!

Let’s talk: What’s been the biggest challenge in your forgiveness journey? Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear your thoughts!

📜 Copyright Disclaimer:

All content in this blog series, including text, images, and any related materials, is the exclusive property of Tressa L. Ruffin and God's Blaze Setter. No part of this content may be copied, reproduced, distributed, or used in any manner without express written permission from the author. For permissions or inquiries, please contact info@godsblazesetter.com.

Breaking the Cycle: When Unforgiveness Runs in the Family

Some wounds don’t start with us. They are inherited.

I didn’t always recognize this truth. For years, I thought my unforgiveness was my own choice—that my resentment was a result of my personal experiences. But the more I grew in Christ, the more I realized I was carrying battles that weren’t even mine.

I grew up watching family members hold onto grudges like trophies. People in my family would stop speaking for years—sometimes decades—over offenses no one could even remember. It didn’t matter if the situation was minor or major; if you crossed a line, you were cut off.

And I learned the lesson well.

I watched the women in my family wear their unforgiveness like a badge of honor, telling their stories of betrayal with sharp words and hardened hearts. 

The message was clear:

🔹 “Some things just can’t be forgiven.”

🔹 “They don’t deserve my forgiveness.”

🔹 “If I let this go, they’ll do it again.”

And I believed them.

I lived like that for years. My first marriage was filled with hurt, betrayal, and wounds that ran deep. So deep, in fact, that even after my husband became my late husband, I still carried the weight of what he did to me. He was gone, but the pain he left behind felt permanent.

But then God confronted me.

Carrying the Iniquity of Our Fathers

📖 Exodus 20:5 – “For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations...”

Unforgiveness isn’t just personal—it’s generational.

I wasn’t just dealing with my own bitterness—I was walking in the pattern set before me. The grudges, the silent treatments, the belief that forgiveness meant weakness—I had inherited them, just like others before me.

And when God revealed that to me, it shook me to my core.

I had to ask myself:

🔹 How long will I keep carrying a burden that isn’t mine to bear?

🔹 Will I pass this same mindset to my children?

🔹 Am I willing to let this die with me, or will I continue the cycle?

Breaking the Generational Curse of Unforgiveness

God makes it clear in Ephesians 4:31-32:

📖 “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you… And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”

That means:

❌ No more holding onto offenses like they define me.

❌ No more refusing to reconcile out of pride.

❌ No more teaching the next generation that it’s okay to live in bitterness.

And let me tell you—breaking that cycle wasn’t easy.

Forgiving my late husband wasn’t just about him. It was about me deciding that unforgiveness would not be my legacy.

It was about my future marriage, my children, my peace, my spiritual growth.

The enemy wants us to believe that forgiveness makes us weak. That letting go means the other person won. But the real victory comes when we refuse to let the sins of past generations hold us captive.

What Are You Willing to Pass Down?

Here’s the truth: If you don’t stop the cycle, it will continue.

If you don’t release the anger, the bitterness, the resentment, you will teach your children and grandchildren to carry the same weight.

I had to make a decision:

Did I want to pass down unforgiveness, or did I want to pass down healing?

I chose healing.

I chose to forgive—even when I didn’t feel like it, even when the hurt was justified, even when it took time. I chose to break the cycle.

Let’s Talk: Are You Willing to Be the One?

Breaking generational curses doesn’t start with a feeling—it starts with a decision.

Are you willing to be the one to break the cycle of unforgiveness in your family?

💬 Drop a comment below: What grudges have been passed down in your family? Are you ready to stop the cycle? Let’s talk about it.

🔥 Join the conversation in the Blaze Setter Chronicles! 🔥

📜 Copyright Disclaimer:

All content in this blog series, including text, images, and any related materials, is the exclusive property of Tressa L. Ruffin and God's Blaze Setter. No part of this content may be copied, reproduced, distributed, or used in any manner without express written permission from the author. For permissions or inquiries, please contact info@godsblazesetter.com.

From Release to Renewal: How True Forgiveness Opened My Heart to Love Again

Celebrating 2 Years of Redemption & Love

Today, February 25, 2025, I celebrate two years of marriage with my husband, Vandrix Ruffin—a love that I never imagined would be possible for me. But this anniversary is not just about love—it’s about redemption, healing, and the power of true forgiveness.

For years, I thought I had forgiven my first husband (now my late husband). I had compassion for him. I cared for him with dignity and honor when he returned home after eight months away. I never complained about having to shower, feed, and tend to his every personal need. But it wasn’t until after his passing that I realized:

🔹 Compassion is NOT the same as forgiveness.

🔹 Caring for someone does not mean you’ve released the pain they caused.

🔹 True forgiveness is not just in our actions—it’s a process that takes time.

And it was only after walking through that process—the painful, uncomfortable, and humbling journey of real forgiveness—that God could prepare me to receive the love of my new husband.

Compassion ≠ Forgiveness

For years, I told myself I had forgiven my first husband. After all, how could I care for him the way I did if I hadn’t forgiven him? I bathed him, clothed him, fed him, and never treated him poorly.

But here’s what I learned:

📖 Forgiveness is not just about what you do—it’s about what you release.

When Jesus forgave, He didn’t just serve people with kindness—He completely released the offense.

📖 Luke 23:34 (KJV) – "Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."

Jesus did not just have compassion for those who crucified Him—He let go of the offense completely.

I had compassion for my first husband’s condition. But deep down, I had not released the pain of what he had done during our marriage. That resentment lived quietly in my heart, hidden behind my acts of service.

The Patience of Forgiveness

In The Road to Release: A Journey from Unforgiveness to Forgiveness, I write:

"Forgiveness is not a moment—it is a journey. The weight of pain is not lifted instantly; it is peeled away layer by layer as we surrender our wounds to God."

I had spent years trying to convince myself that I had forgiven because it was easier than facing the truth:

🔹 I was still hurt.

🔹 I was still angry.

🔹 I was still grieving the marriage I never had.

Forgiveness is a process, and we must be patient with ourselves as we walk through it. It took years of releasing, repenting, and allowing God to heal my heart before I could even recognize the residue of unforgiveness in me.

📖 Psalm 147:3 (KJV) – "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."

Healing cannot happen when we rush the process. God takes His time because true forgiveness goes deep.

How Forgiving My Late Husband Prepared Me for Love Again

Had I not truly forgiven my first husband, I never would have been ready for Vandrix.

The man I am celebrating two years of marriage with today is a gift from God, and I say that with full confidence.

But if I had tried to love Vandrix while still carrying the pain of my past, I would have sabotaged my own blessing.

📖 Isaiah 43:18-19 (KJV) – "Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?"

God could not do a new thing in my life while I was still clinging to old pain.

In Standing My Holy Ground, I share this realization:

"I thought I had healed, but I had only learned how to function while broken. True healing meant putting the past to rest—not just in my words, but in my heart."

I had to:

✅ Fully surrender my past pain to God.

✅ Let go of resentment—even if I never got an apology.

✅ Trust that God was writing a new love story for me.

And when I did, God brought Vandrix into my life.

A Love That Came After Release

Today, I wake up every morning beside a husband who loves, honors, and cherishes me in ways I never thought possible. A man who reflects God’s grace and restoration in my life.

❤️ A husband who worships with me, praises with me, and sings with me, creating a home filled with the sound of faith and thanksgiving.

❤️ A husband who watches YouTube videos to learn how to do my hair when I’m too weak to do it myself.

❤️ A husband who sews my clothes when I need something special, making sure I feel beautiful and cared for.

❤️ A husband who prays over me, fights for me, and never makes me question my worth.

❤️ A husband who walks this journey of faith beside me, standing as the priest of our home, leading in love and covering me in prayer.

I wouldn’t have been able to fully receive this love if I was still waiting for closure from my past. Had I not truly forgiven, I would have built walls instead of a foundation for something new.

Forgiveness is what made room for God’s best.

When I let go of the past, God didn't just restore—I believe He exceeded every expectation. Today, I don’t just have a husband; I have a partner in faith, a covering, and a love that reflects God's redemption.

The Road to Release: Keep Walking

If you are holding onto past pain, I encourage you:

💡 Be patient with your forgiveness journey.

💡 Understand that compassion is not the same as release.

💡 Trust that when you truly let go, God has something greater in store.

I am living proof that forgiveness makes room for love.

Let’s Talk: Your Forgiveness Journey

Have you ever confused compassion with forgiveness? How has letting go prepared you for something greater?

💬 Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear your testimony.

🔥 Join the conversation in the Blaze Setter Chronicles! 🔥

📜 Copyright Disclaimer:

All content in this blog series, including text, images, and any related materials, is the exclusive property of Tressa L. Ruffin and God's Blaze Setter. No part of this content may be copied, reproduced, distributed, or used in any manner without express written permission from the author. For permissions or inquiries, please contact info@godsblazesetter.com.